Monday, March 28, 2016

Anxiety... it's real

It's my last semester of college and let me tell you, it's hard. So many things are changing and it's all happening so fast that I can barely comprehend what's going on. I am so sleep deprived that my body is literally freaking out. I've also been ridiculously sick this semester. They couldn't find anything wrong with me for nearly two months (probably over two months actually). They did an EGD and colonoscopy about two weeks ago and found my stomach lining was inflamed, but that's it. They said all the other symptoms were in my head. BS. They also told me every time I went to the doc that my heart rate was high and my blood pressure was low. There was other times where I had a high heart rate and low blood pressure, so I know it wasn't just because I was at the doctor. They told me that when I was under anesthesia that my heart rate wouldn't stay regular, and would jump high and low randomly. They think I have some sort of autonomic dysfunction, but they can't be sure. They would have to run more tests, and then they probably wouldn't even find anything. I don't think it's worth it. But when I was talking to my best friend on the phone earlier today, she suggested that all my symptoms could be related to stress and anxiety, and those moments of fast heart rate and my body feeling numb could actually be anxiety or borderline panic attacks. And I can see that as totally plausible. So now, as I enter the last 39 days of my college education, I have to lean on God completely because I don't think my body can handle this ending stress. And everyone around me keeps adding to it because they keep asking what are my plans ect after graduation.... I wish people could see the storm inside of my body and mind and accept that I need love and support. I need people to be de-stressors for me, and not add to my stress.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Bible study

I have ADHD. I am dyslexic. I also have a ridiculously short attention span. Because of this, Bible Study has always been a struggle for me. I struggle to get anything out of my Bible reading. Devotionals barely hold my attention. Then I stumbled upon the Inductive Bible Study. It has definitely changed my way of reading and studying the scriptures. I am a very visual person, so being able to look at a passage of scripture and see connections is very helpful me. Part of the Inductive Bible Study is marking the scriptures. The official Inductive Bible study has specific marks that you are supposed to use, but there were too many for me to focus on, and everything was super color specific. I didn't like that idea too much, so I developed my own code. And I am going to share it with you. Only a few of my symbols actually need color, but I colored them.
 
There are others that happen very rarely, so I don't include them on my official list. Other things I do include if there are multiple people mentioned or multiple speakers, I shade over or underline each speaker with a different color. Also if there is a repeated word or phrase within several verses or passages, I use my swirly arrow to show the repeated phrase or use the symbol for important phrases, but use different colors for each different repeated phrase.
 
For example, the phrase "His love endures forever" appears 5 times in Psalm 118 NIV. I drew a heart over the word love, and used my important phrase symbol in red for the 5 times. This lets me see very quickly the important phrase.  Also in Psalm 118, there are several times that the scriptures describe God or what God does/did, so I shaded over those in red. Every time the scripture said "I will", I shaded over that in purple.
 
 
 





My favorite journaling supplies include Crayola Twistables and gel pens.

I hope this post helps you become more familiar with your scriptures and helps you get closer to God.