I started this year wanting to choose a word to focus on, but nothing I contemplated felt quite right. But since I've been so sick and no one can figure out what's wrong with my body, I've had to rely on God and really lean into his love. He gives me strength for when I feel so weak.
My word of the year is "trust". I have to trust that God knows what is happening within my body. I have to trust that he will give the doctors the wisdom and skill to find and treat whatever is ailing me. I have to trust that he will give me the strength to carry on and not let people realize how sick I am. I don't want pity. I don't want people asking me how I feel. But I'm struggling. This word is so hard for me to remember. I have to focus on it everyday. It's become my thing to pause when I feel overwhelmed with symptoms and school to just cry out and say "God, I trust you! I put my faith in you, and I need you to guide me and comfort me. Please don't leave me!"
Let that become your prayer today.
Also, this week is eating disorder awareness week. I have never struggled with an eating disorder, but I have struggled with depression. I just want to tell you all that you are never alone. Reach out for help. Someone will grab your hand and never let go. That someone is God. Trust in him.
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